Talkofmywalk

On the emerging women’s blog I ran across a link to an article from a guy who was noticing that he didn’t read many women’s blogs and wondering about women blogging and men reading them etc. After reading the comments I also posted a comment and then dashed out of my office on my way to court. While driving down the road I pondered not only this gentleman’s thoughts, but also a post from the emergent village website re: women’s roles (more or less) and I began to wonder about us gals and being created by God for a purpose.

While as individuals we may have varied purposes and roles to fill, I began in a broader sense considering why God created us male and female – there is a purpose to our BEING female. There is a God given glory in it. I think first we need to embrace that and relax down into it. Get comfy with our woman-ness, and all that goes with it - the estrogen, the magical floating organs, wider hips, the gift of gab, comapassion, resilience......the ability to carry, bear, and then nourish our young (if we so choose).....laughter through tears and tears in the midst of laughter. Women are strong and courageous and a whole lot of other things, neatly packaged (the more attractive of the two wouldn't you say? ) ;-)

One comment a poster made had to do with writing like a man – and I thought, WHY!? Why write ‘like a man’? We’re women! Write like a woman! What does that mean? I have NO idea!! But lets find out!!!

Also, its wise to consider that men don’t have it all ‘right’ either, so why copy that (a style? A way of thinking?) which is imperfect to begin with? It reminds me of church planting in other people groups – we don’t want to carry our own mistakes and biases into the culture……th e same can be said here. Don’t make the mistake of writing like a man with those mistakes and biases. We are uniquely made and uniquely gifted, write from THAT position. Free in Christ as a woman of God.

As these thoughts are streaming in, as I am driving down the road, I want to them for further exploration later, so I grab my bag on the seat next to me and rummage through for a notepad and pen. Groping in the darkness of my bag, my hand lands on a pad of paper that I ‘borrowed’ from my daughter some time ago – I pull it out and as I open it, I read the front – Girl Power. That’s what it says! How fitting!

So with Girl Power in mind, not a self-sufficient ‘girl power’ that negates the power we have through the Holy Spirit, I will continue exploring and expanding on some of these ideas. How, why, for what – did God create Woman? How can we use what we are, how can we position ourselves to be the most effective for the Kingdom? If it’s a ‘story we are in’, what is our ‘role’ as women, how are we unique to the story?

Until next time…..

Have you heard about the mother who is in hot water for listening to her daughters phone call(s)? COnsidered wire tapping - daughter has 'right' to privacy of any other citizen. Uhhh, yeah, right....

I'm not buying it. Mom had a reasonable suspicion and listened, and what she heard was evidence (admission) of a crime committed by boyfriend.

I'll admit it, I snoop. My daughter has given me every reason to question her ohnesty and her safety. And you know what? I'M GLAD I'M SNOOPING! I am finding out much more than she would have told me and am able to use the info to help her learn to open up to me. I'm trying to get at her heart, not just her behavior, but until I can do that, or she turns 18 and moves out, this is the best I can do to help keep her safe. And thats part of my job, right?

I'm learning to let go, trying to love her where she is....and in order to do that, I need to know WHO she is, what she is thinking....it scares me to think in a year and a half or two years she may be out of the house. Until then, I'll be snooping. Lord knows if she was to do something illegal the first thing they'd do is come after me accusing me of not keeping an eye on my own kid, lack of supervision....

Sometimes your damned if you do and damned if you don't.

So do you or don't you?

I have to confess....I am so awful at loving my own daughter. And what I am realizing this week, what God is convicting me of more and more,  is that I am so awful at loving her because I am so 'fear driven'.

As I thought and prayed and reflected on things I come back to getting 'upset' because I want 'the best' for her and the flip side of that of course is that I am afraid she will end up with less. Its fear. I am afraid she will make the wrong choices, I am afraid she will have regrets, I am afraid...afraid....afraid. I can call it worry, I can call it concern -- and it is those things - but its also fear.

I always said things like "I don't care what profession my kids choose as long as they have a heart for Jesus" or it doesn't matter if you're a ditch digger as longas your the best ditch digger you can be......but I am not certain that is playing out as a reality. AGain, because of the fear. Part of it is that she's not having a heart for Jesus, and she's not striving to be the best she can be at anything - she is totally lviing for herself and 'happy' to be mediocre.....but what's my issue with that? Fear. Fear that she's not living right or that she won't EVER live right.....fear that she'll never turn her heart to Christ.

Fear isn't a part of faith.

So I am praying to let go of the fear so that I can love her as she is - warts and all. Just love her. Like I would any random kids I came across. One that I'm not 'personally vested' in -- cuz its not about *me*, its about her and my call to 'love'.

what a day....rainy friday.  Lots to do,  work overload. Just thankful I have a job. :)

 

Just who is Myrtle Poter and what is her theory of ripening?  Myrtle is a business woman. One who sees the value in challenge.

Her theory surrounds challenge - being green and being challenged. According to Myrtle, challenge is good, it helps us grow. When we aren't challenged we aren't growing. When we are green, we are growing. When we stop growing we begin to rot.

It reminded me of Christians who think they have 'arrived'...the holier than thou types. You know them, people who think they know it all. When we think we know it all, there is nothing left to learn, and we stop growing. When we stop growing we begin to rot.

There is that moment of ripeness...a peak, then rot.  I'm not ready to peak! I want to be green, I want to grow. I want to elarn, iw ant to remember that I'll never know it all.

Today I read on a forum a question referring to the common platitude that "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" and while I believe that this is true in a sense - for I believe we can "handle" ALL things through Christ (though we may handle them poorly or less than ideally...*grin*) it makes me wonder about our attitude and our focus, its always about 'me'.

I feel as though I have so much more than I can handle right now, a teen who is in some troubled times, financial struggles, plumbing problems, all rather significant ones too, not little things. BIG things in my life right now. And yet.....is it more than I can handle? No. Feels real heavy some days...but God is there. Always. And as someone on that forum pointed out - God holds my soul eternal....in this life there may be damage to my wallett, my psyche, my body - etc. But there is life everlasting in Him. :)

The flip side of "why me" and "is this more than I can handle" is found in part in a Jennifer Knapp song - 'more than I deserve'. Everday I get more than I deserve. God gives me so much more than I deserve.

My challenge is to notice it.

7am...standing in line....Surprised to see how long the line is - not that its super long, its more that there is a line at all, when typically there is none. So what's got America heading to the polls in quite possibly record numbers? Fear? Anger? Excitement?

I must admit, I am always a bit excited and exhilerated to be part of the process, I feel empowered when I vote. My little one vote - a drop in the bucket, right? So why does it give me a feeling of empowerment?

Could it be that I realize the privilege that is extended to me in the opportunity to be part of the process? Hoe different my life is from someone in Iraq, or Burma...or so many other countries?

Americans should be ashamed that a war in Iraq or fear or anger is what sends them running to the polls. We should go out of gratitude for being granted a seat at the table.

What if we had no place there at all?

Speaking of that guy on the corner and feeding the hungry.....Halloween is this weekend.

Do you ever think of all the greedy munching going on? Kids hording candy? Parents sneaking it out of their bags? All the money spent on bags of candy and apples and pumpkins....

Ever wonder how many people could be fed a warm meal on a cool autumn night instead?

Wow, blogworld has changed much since my last venture here. Cool.

*hmmmmmm* what to say today?

OK, here ya go. There are some people who stand on the corner with signs that say they are homeless, they are hungry, need food, God Bless. I must admit that I am often skeptical....a bit jaded....I very often think these people are just out for money - and most of the time they'll booze that away. So, ok, I got convicted after hearing about "Hilton Christianity" and seeing the guy on the corner rip into a sandwich passed through a car window to him...is hands were shaking so bad he could hardly get it open.

So I packed a BIG bag of food for him the next day and handed it out the window - a box of wheat thins, two sandwiches, a mid-sized bottle of gatorade, several granola bars, and an apple. Know what? He hasn't been back since. Hmmm, gotta wonder.

Am I jaded or is he a charleton? Does it matter?

I think not.

What matters is my response to Gods conviction on my heart. What matters is my response to God's word when He says to care for others. To feed the hungry...it's not really my place to judge that man on the corner. Its up to me to serve my GOd and when I wait on others, I am worshipping the God of the universe.

I'm thankful for the opportunity

 

Have you ever held something so close that you find it was obscuring your whole vision?

I have. More times than I can say.

What starts out innocent, what seems like a hobby, or a nice way to pass the time, or a nice 'creature comfort' ~ something that is good for me, soon begins to obscure my view of God. It takes on a life of its own, sucking away at my attention, my love, my time.

Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

I keep coming back to this verse and this 'issue'. Must be personal. ;-)

Proverbs 17:24
A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.

What am I keeping in view?

Philippians 3:14
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

The older I get the more I realize I need to maintain focus by not holding too tightly to things of the world, by not letting my eyes wander to the ends of the earth, I need to PRESS ON toward the prize - towards Jesus. For it is there, and only there that I will obtain 20/20 vision.

Speaking of walking online. One of the hardest parts for me is coming up against other Christians. Instead of the JOY I should feel at recognizing a fellow traveller in the Lord, I feel slightly wary, uneasy, and on guard.

So many want only to teach, but not learn. Many want to point out error, but not be challenged. Some think they have it all down tight, in a little package, a taped up box.

I don't know about you, but I have loose ends. There isn't enough tape in all the world to contain my God. He is a mystery, He is unbound, unchained, and unleashed in the world. But He is present. He is alive. That much I know. And I know too that He can handle all my questions, He can handle all my doubts. When I see someone with their faith in a box, I wonder at the size of their god.

Just how big is YOUR God?

People come and people go. Kind of reminds me of that old kids song, the one that is kinda gross.

"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play peanuckle on your snout....."

Not that we are worms, well I should only speak for myself (lol), but fancy how we come and go from the net. We crawl in and crawl out, play a while, come and go.

What is our walk like while we are here? What kind of impact does the internet have on our walk of faith?

For me, its been a bumpy ride. I never knew how to play peanuckle, and I still don't. But God is teaching me something else; He is revealing more of myself to me and more of His grace as well. It is in that state of grace which I find I can crawl around the internet and not become lost or consumed by what I should be consuming.

I wonder how many people are consumers of the internet or are being consumed themselves.

Mat 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Today I begin my blogging......funny thing this internet, just when you think you've got it licked....here comes another hook. *sigh*

My life has become a walk of faith and this blog will be the talk of my walk. Ramblings, rantings, ravings. Thoughts dancing in my head....

Stay tuned.